A universal issue: One woman's experience of getting out of a RUT

Nov 8, 2021

 by Rebecca Rose
A new Midtown blog series - every other week there will be a new column written by me, Deanne.
This column will be personable, insightful, possibly funny if you understand my humour, and sometimes educational as well. You can count on it to be honest  and I hope, in response, you’ll be the same. What I write will not be up for debate or negative comments but definitely open for discussion, questions and thoughts. Please feel free to chat with me if you see me at the studio, I definitely look forward to connecting with you in that space! I haven’t done anything like this before so it’s a big leap for me. So, as I take the initial jump into this new space here, is my first piece. In advance, thank you for reading, I sincerely hope this message speaks to you in some way!
A universal issue: One woman's experience of getting out of a RUT
Let's talk for a minute, or however long it might take you to read this post. Let's talk about relationships and how the relationship with ourselves will impact most relationships around us. Recently I was feeling down, I could no longer go to my pilates every day - and yes I am going to bleeping talk about covid here, can this not be such a taboo topic?!
You see, I had a routine that worked so well for me. After work I would get up from the desk in my house (the one where I eat, sleep, work and everything else it seems most days), and walk, run or strap on my rollerblades and head to Pilates at another studio that I feel no need to mention because it's not the point...anyway back to it. I would rollerblade about 20 minutes to class, listening to upbeat music and smiling at everyone I passed on the paved trail. The happiness I felt was instant, the rush of energy, fresh air and sunshine. 
Once I arrived to pilates I’d find myself chatting with the regulars and getting pumped up for a hot sweaty workout, releasing endorphins often bopping along to the beat in between sets BOOM that feeling of instant happiness again. Class ends and I make my way home with bringing that energy with me. 
At the time I didn't recognize how IMPORTANT this daily after work routine was until it STOPPED! 
I was confronted with mandates that changed all of that for me and left me with a lot less opportunity to maintain that routine I so heavily relied on for my relationship with myself, not to mention my sanity. Don’t worry, this isn’t going to get political but rather personal, keep reading. My routine now abruptly over and not realizing at the time it’s impact and I became depressed. My husband may have referred to me as a chip monster, and honestly, my indulgence for Pain au chocolate was abundant and I definitely gave in more than I would have in a different mindset. I was sad all the time and I had pinched a nerve in my shoulder from slumping in my desk chair and not giving my body, or mind for that matter, a workout. My stress became too much, while many of my friends didn't notice,  my husband did and I am sure I was not fun in the house being a sad baby chip monster sulking - here is the thing though, during that time I had no idea how that disruption in my routine would send my mindset into a place that felt really hard to get out of most days, I was miserable and felt so disconnected from myself and my joy. 
I did make an effort to work out at home or the gym, and Sundays I started hiking with now a good friend (thank you-you know who you are). It had all kept me afloat but I knew I needed more, and now being back at class, a new member of Midtown, I feel it was what I was missing… and I’ve felt I’ve regained my ME TIME that I had felt dissolved when my routine had. It’s significant, because when I’m in class, it’s my time to let go both physically and mentally and  reconnect with myself without the weight of the day any longer. 
I interact with people, having wonderful conversations - sometimes in passing and others longer. I go home with that energy to my supportive husband, a happier woman, managing work and stress better and ultimately, someone in relationship with herself first…. Everything else flows from that. 
Whatever your barrier may be, I hope reading this encourages you to find a way to choose you and let go of the rest. 
Written by Deanne and edited by her beautiful sister Danielle.